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| September 9, 1898 The Mount Vernon Hawkeye-Record |  |
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/iii
MOUNT VERNON HAWK-EYE.
NEVER STOPS RUNNING.
The Latest Crelttion of the Perpetual
Motion Crank l)escleibed
and Illustrated.
DONKEY PERVERSITY.
Two of the Long-Eared Burden lieUt.-
era Muke un Innocent Cow
It Prisoner,
THOSE CHARITY PARTIES.
The Head of the House Had HIs Mall'
and~Then Paid for aim
The donkeys that have been so- The two fair daughters of the household
For 23 years Samuel P. Fail, of East journiug in a Eouth Portland vacantwere discussing the entertainment they pro- ]
Lebanon, 3to has lived the life of a
hermit and for more than 40 years has lot tire for sale ~ays the Portland Ore- posed giving for the benefit of a little work I
of cimrity in which they were interested, ]
~ ~ gonian.
been lnost untiring in his efforts to They were amiable and well-disposed and,had toaS havea n/atterhis say. f course, the,old gentleman II ~i0]~ ~jlfantll lind C]lil{h'eil la
solve the problem of perpetual too- ~'~'~'iONG COMES '/IZA. donkeys, but they ate all the paint bff "It's an infernM nuisance, he declared. ]
rCLONES FORM. tics.
Itis latest de-ice of perpetual mo- Just as soon's I get to playln' ii neighboring fence every night, and "The house will be in a commotion for a/ B~ars
weck, re)thing will be tiiought of but your l U~
" Noah's ark or train of curs, affcr the painter had renewed it sev- party, and everything will be disarranged /A'~'fl "ll~l~ ~1~
,tt;t Throwswtth %VhtehS me LightBut on ard.ti n haSTe athelargeouterPUlleYsurfaceSet inof atheStand-pul. OUtTroublethere 'sin ins forniCemeWarmmykitchen'stars! eral mornings lie became annoyed. ].'hat night we ,ill allbe awake till well to-I Th8 r '~ For
Are [~'limilinr. ley are at~'achc,] a number of tubes 'Long comes 'Ltza with the broom: He was working by the contract, but ward nlorning, and the next day, those who I
"Look out, now, l've lots to do; he said lie never agreed to paint a asleep.are not ISiCkeall"illit nothingg aboUtbut snarling andtomfoolery half ]t Sil dLal'~m .--$'l't"": Over mq'"r" Years
containing
quicksilver,
which
acts
asa
Clear your duds out of my way--
M. Ellieott U. S. J~ c0n- floating weight in each tube. :ks the Can't be bothered here by you!" /2 "Papa," said the eldest, "don't you under-
t. Nicholas 'an article on pulley revolves a ~vstem. of meehauism Then I think I'll try the stoop; /~,//u staiLdpoor andtliatthatWe areeverygOingcenttOwehelPmakeSOmewillofpro.tim 0[ p ri i~, Th~ KJ~d You Hav!~ Aiway~ Boulhl
af Cyclones." Lieut. :Elii- So I move as meek~s a lamb. INVaOn COmP&MIW, 71' mtJIMmAV IITSI~[T. mlCW YOPllg C TV.
Get tO playtn' nice as ever-- ~ '~'~ gir]sVide carethemaboutWith theS mecharitablee mf rt*~teatareWhatof thisY U T"-Zll
should do is to encourage us." ,
idea of a cyclone's forma- Out comes 'Llza's broom, ker-slam! ~ "Don't talk silly. It's a good deal you
"Come now, boy--you'rs in my way'." . i
: a large circular pan or Out she flies. "i've got to sweep!" .
social combination you're in. It's the boys
e a large hole in the mid- My Noah's ark. my cars. and me and girls and cards and dancing you want.
)ttom. With tlu3 hole All go tumbling in a heap. ~o use tryingto pull the wool over myeyes."
"Very we]]. We'll try to do our duty, i~
the vessel with -x~ ater; "Want to sweep me off tbe earth?" even if you do make it hard. We, at least,
mt the plug and watch. That's bow I talk back to her; have some sympathy for the afflicted."
t a rush of water from But it's not a mite of good-- "Oh, you have? Sweetly d'ismterested,
'Llza comes with such a whir, aren't you? How much did you take in at i#
5 toward the hole and a Sweepln' dust right In my face, the last blowout?"
ort to get tbron~h. Then That I have to cut an' run,
rface above b "~ ' "Just $13.50," proudly.
egms to sink Glad to hurry from a place, "Well I'll give you just $30.50 for the
;no particles gradually W'here there's not a bit of runt --, / ~. cause if you'll not inttiet your co workers on
Z
ind and around and rush- V/hen I have a little boy, us. Now how's your eharity?"
er, toward the center. At He shall DlaY Just where he likes, "~lamnia, 1 wish to the land you'd come
Lltterln' up the kitchen floor PULLED WIT~t ALL THEIR MIGHT. down here. Papa's acting perfectly awful,
actually a hollow spa
center, around which lCll Alll2e wants to, makin' kites, and slle flounced out of t'he room while he 'Wf,
PaS~lI ' scrap-books, playin' cars-- fence in a place where the wind was so laughed sardonieally.~l)ctroit Free Press.
the tub is whirling, slug- fib est place In all the town; strong that it blew it off.
There shan't be a 'Ltza then When it was learned that the don- HER-O-Es OF WAR.
rim, but with more ain(d ~,~
rapidity towards tLe mid- Always bosstu' my boy ross'! keys had been eating the paint they -- . xl
ns ~ --Harriet 7Franeene Crocker In ~t Nlcn- ~ ~" "e t" on'"
' hes down~ arc tnrouo'a ~ ' were moor (1 wn re hey e m not From tbc Chicago Times-Herald.
. ' ~ as. " The feeling of admiration for heroes of
Now, if that water were ~ reach it. Ph~lr owner thought it war seems to be innate in the human heart,
ld,~. ,~, WITH TIlEAID OF GRAVITY
be watching a tit:ie cy- " THE STREET SWEEPER. would be a good idea to tie them to the and is brought to the surface as the opportu.
upside dow- ~- th~ air same stake, so they could be company nity and object preseutsitself.
rd i . holds the tubes extended on one s de, -- - e Among those who proved their heroism
nsteadofdown~aro. - HowaGerinunCountensi.Sl, lredll r ior each ogner.
dl . while the " r se on the other sloe tile . " during our Civil War was A. Schiffeneder,
e of cyclones tlurulg the 2, . . ' Countrymen to Drive Out the q~ hat mght wLen he came home his
Iths ame mechanmm allotting them to nil
,Wlac nd F. ' "" " " " French Invaders. neighbor a brindle cow was flattened of 161 Sedg-
'OW hottern annd h2:lt~r~elock automatically and han~ t,cndant. -- ' up against the back fence wish a taut
Chicago. lie ~
lon.-e - Mr: Fall's idea being that the tubes Julie M Iippman tells a story of the line athwart ht.r flanks and anger in isanAustriau ~, ~
g r uays tnan ntgnts. . ' ~ by birth, .-,~fi~[ -"~ ~" #
ir, hot, l;-~+.e ~ --.'* '~'~ r,H "~ present less resls',ance when hanging Thirty. Years' war, in St. Nicholas, un-, . ,her heart.The donkeys had pulled up. cam e to -'/M~ f~ ~f ~ ~
a timeh.i,~ ~ h~, ~pendant than when extended, der the title of 'The Street-Sweeper. the stakeand gone into their own Americaat ' t~ k
boy-.'- ":-~'" """2"-.-~--~-7 As the tubes pass the apex of theThe author says' yard, onethrough the ~'ate and an-the ageof -.t'~'~ ~,i~x-~ ~}
at.~estiess, = vo-,~- " ' ~ i ' " " "" twenty,and "P ~ [
ulle the qmcksflver tie s qu ckl
bus, it moves about like a P Y " . " Y Now Mainz is one of the strongestother through a hole in the fence. The became an .J~.~"k'~
,do~n the lnehmng tubes constantly
Until a tMnner place in " " " " ", fortresses in Germany; but, never- cow had been inside their line, andnot American ['~C"~- ~
isfound Then u,)it mad- addingto their weight as they go. Mr. theless, during the Thirty Years'war having the pre~nee of mind to step citizen. He~'h .~'~K ~ ~ ~ ~ It,
fl intn it( ~ . + ', o Fall beIievcs that ~f he ear. succeed in it was occupied by the French, who over it she suddenly found herself a was living at ~r~/ ~ x~ ,---"
o~ermn the ~e~ lrt aecur~teH laid the countr
~'er atmosnhere hastens g " g " g,"' i . y waste and ruled ovel [prisoner. Milwaukee "/~I ] ,
,'hen the call ~ [ / ~ "
~tions, nushin,- ,a ~,4~t- will be able to overcome the dead-con- [ - for volun~ ~, I P/ -
|ng until i ter. The other idea that he descrl es teer~ eame .2'r'~
early iu 1862, "~ ~
inning arc::; Ianpmnmnj: is what he terms a double cross the ~rirl~m~
naco * ' n b '
~eyclone, ol": ' arms imparting tactic y means of ~~ a n d h e x~emedv,daw0une.
promptly enlisted in Company A, of t he
J~;e-~,n +~- ~ ':'"~'~; ,'eights, the whole governed by the ~.~~.~
"" opic.s towara " x h ar " . Twenty-sixth Wisconsin Volunteers. in Htirrithl BattI
Ax
has
the Army of the Potomac he saw much figkt-
roor of central port,on abo*et e ms This
; . --" he believes is certain to prove a sue- ill /i -. ~. ing, campMgning in the Shenandoah Valley.
~' ,ngan~l lisle- . In the first day's fighting at the battle of Evetybodywho twuisthcncw ed sknowswlmtpdva.
en to sees as soon as he is able to overcome ti --/ "~
in the right side, which afterward caused
;~f the the dead-center. / /~i ~ ~ Oettysburg. Sehiffeneder received a wound t~ ~ S~"fAt~, ~ ,=~ ~ (~tllbll'--II~ 'h~ :[~
rawn into ~ ~ him much trouble. With a portion of his Of the SUl~Iy of toliaf~o provll~ by the GOV l'llMDg~t to
~rm;~n overs . . :iNFECTION Ry BREATtt. /i ~/A f.=i ~ ~ regiment he was captured and imprisoned
at Belt Island, and Andersonville, and after- t .a~h~ tht camps ot the U. S. Soldie
I~!~ a thOUsand illttles iu di- * /// ~lll~" ~~~1~I' ~ ward exchanged He returned to his regi- ~~e~~i'
[~etimes it flin,rs~t~ ,~ u~ IA Simple Illustration Showing IIow ~i~~ ~ ment, which was transferred to thearmyof
[tic c ast and 7ea~t~erce~-IEasily Disease Germs May I # ~ f@~a . throughGeneral Sherman, and marched with himGeorgia to the sea.
~orests, fields and cities I Be' Disseminated. . i /// r~i~llT[//[/Irlln~~.O~i/, In this campaign Mr. Sehiffeneder's old
It I i/It ' ,~,t Sweeps awa ae o,s the ' I c% '' ' Y' '" !~ ~k had also contracted catarrh of the stomach Pl.iir- V ,
and dashesi In order to impress on us how east-// { i [ IZ/~t[;~Ill / I / f/llt, lttlil( iil[t~ ~i)I wound began to hobble trim and he was
tseFf upon the I 1( - sent to the hospital and then home. He
pe. Once in awhiie it so ly infection may often be disseminated ] I,'~,- ~D
~ds the land that ~ never l by the breath, a writer in The tlospital [[[ ~~l///l/l////l//t~t / ~/~"~ it/~.- C~,~/~ and,i foundhappenednO reliefto readf r yearS.an account of Dr. ~.~ght~ .t~ .~.fl.
[Passed until shins com~ in] (LOndOn) bids us watch the course o~f Ill ~'t ~t~tt~ /tt~ i~lit'~~ /*~4~ IllVfilliams' Pink Pills for Pale People about
IOken.' " ,I the smoke expened . from .the momh of ,111 =~ -~m~=iiil~ai~ ~,~ a~~ .~ Illlll a year ago," he said, "and lliought that h'lst~titly~ "~, ~r~l~?~li
b. ~ I one who is enJoying a cigar. He says: tfl Id IN tt.~y might be good for my trouble. I con:
cluded to try them. I bought one box and
began to take them~it according to directions. IK~ I1|~[
They gave me great relief. After finishing member some'
that" box I bought another, and when I had
taken the pills l felt that Iwascured. I when
recovered my appetite and ate heartily. I
can testify to the good the pills did me." .
Mr. Schiffeneder is a prominent Grand
Army man in Chicago, whither he moved
some year~agow'.~i~.hy Hehh'sfamiY'llad HoDell. -'---" Fairly JU : i-"
Mr. Gotrox (decisivcly)--My daughter i~
not the right age to get married. : < :i '
Mr. HarSup,p (persuasively)--I quite agree
with you, Mr, Gotrox--and every year makes~?k~A .sii.
it worse, you know.--Judge.
,ttece.ful q~re.t'-----~e--t-~for Aath=ti.~c:~ right from the very
Dr. P. Harold Hayes, of Buffalo, N.Y ~ f'~.~r~l er starches on the market. Nowi why was i
sends his book on "Asthma and Hay-Fever ~'~~ln is it that millions of packages of, KEITi
Cured to Stay Cured" free and postpaid to
any sufferer who applies for it. Dr. Hayes~.~L~ AMt~L . TARCM'has in :the f
has now treated upwards of forty thousand ~Uslnce this starch was invented? Just do you
cases, and quotes many eases of ~ormer suf.
ferers who have stayed cured for from five one monih with KEITH'S ENAMEL
to twenty years. Names and addresses of ~gn~M and you wil!~se~ i: It makes ironing m cas2
these are given, so that any inquirer c~n L~~on that beaut f.ul 'enamel flliish that it puts
investigate fully and be convinced of the
reliability of the statements made. Dr. k~~ head of every ~n0wn aid l' t~ S" W" ' n' '~lt~'~" .~.~ = ~ t.u . o~, u
~l Wes 01o of " "
's, -la~::n America In t lug the halr.--N. Y. Journal. :viM, to put on style and show visiting] uponO" therequest.Hatr and Scalp, free - wit, 27,e.r.s e erienes fair,flees b r! ! c,= o 4 o lla moon
" P In Par- : I -- .orelgners what the)" really can ac-, "q : < 3", "a CC s-,~RItffyyou. Remember to ship us or write for ! t F~m ~.ltebm'Y rhamuel, ~i~t, r&
{i terms mentionlnl thin advsrtisement, ~ I ~
e,there are ts ot w tcmed to point to bfs snufltbox when
t" herd- . [ Per Capita Coal Consumption. complish in the ay of rapidtty they ] ~e to ~ ~. i|=ldllt~t~l=l~tl.t~tl#oeleltQ~ttellll@tlet$t~net$~ltl|~ ] r~O~VN~W~4~t~;g~qFe~
~. Which hardl$ ~ o,}The consumpt,on of coal re;. head offer express trains, which dashmadly] speaking of the shape of the world, xt you do notobtalnatlthe~ns.
fits you expects(! from the use of - / ~l[~Vr~|quiekrellefandeuresworlt
~:er duee the milk~verl of population is lowest in Ausiria,across the landscape at an average[Now, when the exatmner eame along theVigor, write the doctor about it osaea Sendlorb~ko~testimantnlsandl~dm~
e 10r P~obabty ther~ ts some difficulty l
our In ne ,nd asked the class what was the
".~ I where it is only' one-sixth ton per an- rate of 15 or 18 miles an h . ~ O [ t, with your gensral sy~tmn whlea
I num, and highest in, Great Britain, way thts proves an advantage, for the| shape of the world, a little fellow an- msybeessttyromoved.Addrese, DR. J. C. AYe, / A.N.K.--A 17~f5
" pailtles l "
rl h-~l. n Eng. t where each person averages 3 3-10 toni ~raveter sees a great deal more ct.ery [ swered: Round during the week and Lewlu. ~ ~ W W~'l~e '~ A~~
Wor~' now ownleach year. In the United Stattt the for hlg money "ha~ if he werer~shed]Sqbare on Suudayl"--Current IAtcra. I ~e~,ast~e ~aawe~mw~ ~vm~m~
/ Imlai la tlllil pilpll.
-" I average is 2X tons a ~.ear. ]past it more swiftly. I turn.